Sunday, January 13, 2008
Nursery
Nathan is 18 months old now and we took him to the Nursery last week and he stayed in there the whole time and did O.K. for his first time. I thought we could only go up from there. Well, today when I took him, he started crying as soon as I walked in with him. He didn't want to let go of me. Our Bishop's wife had to pry him from me and I walked out wanting to cry as much as he did. She said they'd come get me if he cried more than 15 min. Well, we made it through Sunday School and they never came, so I thought we were going to make it. Relief Society had barely started and I hear this SCREAMING out in the hallway. I turned around and they motioned that it was for me. The poor kid was all beet red and tears were streaming down his face. I felt so bad, for the Nursery leaders who had to try to make him happy and for him. He just wanted me, which kind of made me feel special, but at the same time, how long am I going to have to deal with this every Sunday. Is it just easier to stay in there with him, or am I prolonging the inevitable? I need some advice from you Moms. I want him to love Nursery. I think he's traumatized. I had to go back in there after church and take this toy back and he started freaking out as soon as I walked in there with him. He thought I was going to leave him again. I'm really concerned about this attachment issue, cause Chris and I have not been on a date in a LONG time and we have tickets to a concert in a few weeks and I don't know what we're going to do with him. I know I will not enjoy myself if I know he's screaming the whole time I'm gone. HELP!
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8 comments:
Nursey is a hard adjustment. Both of my boys went through their crying phase and ocassionally we still have one. My advice would be DON'T stay with him. That will just make him think that if he cries he can get out of it. It is not easy and I totally remember feeling like a horrible mother, but I think it is the best thing in the long run.
I don't know about the nursery cuz Willow isn't that old yet, but I would suggest having someone he knows pretty well watch him at YOUR HOUSE. That makes the time away not so traumatic. At least he is comfortable with his surroundings even if he isn't with the babysitter. You NEED to get out, I know Bill and I have really cherished our rare dates, but are glad we have them. Have fun at the concert!!
Nursery is so hard for some kids. mikayla hated it from the start! Trenton loved it up until lately. today we had a hard time with him but after a couple minutes he was ok. I would say that you should just stay int here with him for a few minutes until he gets down to play. it's different with every kid though.
you know that i'll watch him for you any time but if it's a concert you'll probably be late and you should have someone come to your house to watch him so he can go in his own bed.
I'm worried about nursery too...Easton used to be so good to let me go while he played...but not lately.
I know what you should do...you should go on your date and let me babysit...Nathan loves me! I can bring Easton so they can play!
That is EXACTLY how Emery was with Nursery. First week ok, then total freak out the next 4 or so weeks. I usually just left her and would have to come back and stay with her for a little while. But finally she found the love and goes in on her own now. But I think it would be good in the long run to leave him there and maybe come visit him if he is overly sad so he knows you will come back for him. I know attachment issues are hard, but eventually he will get better but I think it is important that you still leave him once in a while to give him that experience and you the needed break!
I don't know what to tell you girl, Ellie loves Nursery. It may be due to the fact that we were nursery leaders before she was old enough, or maybe she's just in a world of her own enough that it doesn't bother her. One idea we used to do was to invite some of the same kids in nursery with her over for play dates then she got used to seeing her friends. Also, if you let him bring his favorite treat as a snack to share than he'll be excited to go. We aren't in nursery anymore, but Ellie still loves the songs and snacks. By the way where did you get Nathans little chair? It's totally cute!
We still have another month for Lincoln, but after being a Nursery leader, I would say leave him. The leaders will always come get you if Nathan needs you. It seemed the parents who stayed with their kids from the start were still staying with their kids months down the road. I'm a little worried what Lincoln will do, but I think the adjustment might be quicker if he's just left. I will probably have Brandon take him since Lincoln pretty much always freaks out if he sees me walk away (even in our house). Would it work better for you if Chris took him to Nursery? And we need someone to watch Lincoln in a few weeks...wish we could trade! Go to the concert though, you need your dates!
Hey Kara! Nathan's really not doing too bad for his second week. He was sad after you left, but he wasn't screaming like he was when she came to find you until just then. Don't worry! When we took the calling Chelsie told us that the kids tend to adjust more quickly if their parents don't stay in there with them, and I think it's true. You can stick around for a few minutes at the beginning while they adjust to new surroundings, but the only kids we have who are still crying months after coming in to nursery are those who are used to their parents staying with them. Let us know if there's anything we can do to make the transition easier, too! Give him a couple of weeks. He'll be fine! Good luck on your date!
On that note - Gavin has been fine with babysitters for ages, but the last few times we've left him he's freaked out! What the heck? The sitter tells us he doesn't cry the whole time we're gone, but I'm never sure she's telling the truth. :(
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